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Our Story Part 6: Is one enough?

by Suzanne - June 16th, 2010.
Filed under: adoption. Tagged as: , , , , , .

We looked at each other more than once during Simons first few years and wondered if one was a good number. Days when he was just as cute as could be and it felt like it took both of us to enjoy him completely. Days when he was just the biggest pill and it took both of us to handle him.

We knew we wanted more than one but with adoption, you start paperwork and it can take forever for it to come together, it seems to be more of a waiting game. When you get pregnant you know that in at least 10 months you will have a baby, with adoption, you know you will have a baby, it could just be in 30 days or 3 years. I don’t do well with the unknown, I guess I have trust issues.

So I was talking to a friend down in Indiana and they had adopted from China, she said, well the paperwork takes awhile maybe you could just start and then by the time it happens you would be ready, this was at the end of 2007. I came home and googled everything about China placements and timelines and everything I could get, we were excited about the prospect.

We very soon found out that all China programs were almost at a stand still, that it was taking people 3-5 years to be able to bring home a baby, Todd said looking very forlorn “3 years is a long time babe, a lot can happen in that time” I agreed, we just put it on the back burner again. *Sigh*

So some time passed and in April of 2008 we decided to go back to Catholic Charities, we had had such a great experience with them that we wondered why we would try anything different. Being familiar with the process did a lot to ease our minds, we asked our social worker, Susan, for a packet of info for the 2nd time around. I told her we weren’t ready right at that moment, but wanted to get things rolling, she agreed it can sometimes take a little longer when you are adopting your 2nd.

We got the info and I started filling out paperwork, making Doctors appointments, and getting fingerprinted again.

We wondered how long it would take but this time we were busy caring for Simon and he was enough to keep our minds off of the wait. a few months later, I called Susan and asked what we needed to be doing? I thought I was waiting on her and she was actually waiting on some paperwork from me, oops, so we got that rolling again, tied up some loose strings, figured out that we had just slid in under the old price sheet, praise the Lord!! and continued on from there. We had our homestudy visits, I wasn’t even nervous this time, Susan spent a lot of time talking to Simon, at this point he was 2 years and a few months, fun and funny, charming too!

I think we were in the roster at the end of 2008, ready for birthmoms to look at our file, see our pictures and wonder if we would be a good match. This is where the real unknown waiting game starts. Before this we had responsibility, we had jobs to do, if we did them things progressed, now we had nothing to do, just hoped that Simon didn’t get too much older before we were chosen, It was Todds really didn’t want them spread too far apart. But this is all you can do is hope and pray G-d hears your heart.

So in late January Susan called and sad I have a scenario for you, she went into detail about a birthmother who was expecting but had some medical issues, the grandmother also had medical issues and the father was unknown. I said we would talk about it. I called my good friend who has some similar issues, talked with her for a long time, we googled a lot of words and prayed about it. We called Susan back and asked that our profile not be shown to this birthmom. We were devastated, it felt horrible. When you are trying to adopt, the last thing you want to do is turn down a child, it was gut wrenching.awful. It was what we needed to do.

Then maybe a week later Susan called again, I have another scenario for you. She then told me about another birthmom that was due in March and the mom was using natural remedies for severe morning sickness. she gave us a lot of details, details I don’t feel like I should share on here. I did a lot of googling again we talked and we said yes please show our profile to this birthmom, this felt promising.

That birthmom went with another couple. Hmmmmmmmmm

Another week passes and we get another call form Susan, this time she is almost laughing, she has another situation for us to consider, it is almost comical at this point. There is a birthmom and birthfather that are interested in meeting us, they are Caucasian, in good health, she has had good prenatal care and the baby is healthy, she is due April 21st.

Annnnnnnd, I am waiting for the ball to drop, what is wrong? oh nothing it’s just that the birthparents want to met with 3 couples and decide from there, and sine that isn’t normally the way they do it, they just wanted to make sure it was ok with us, really that’s it? no weird gene I should know about? nope just that. Well I didn’t have to talk to Todd to say sure to this one, we will meet them no problem, I think if I was in her shoes I would want to met more than one couple also, makes sense to me, sure sign us up.

to be continued…..

2 Responses to Our Story Part 6: Is one enough?

  1. I can’t stand the suspense !!

  2. Ha, you know the outcome (:

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