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Going home again, Is it possible?

by Suzanne - April 3rd, 2010.
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I love going home, we live 2 hours north of where I grew up in Goshen Indiana. It is a picturesque town, quaint, quiet, lots of familiar faces.

Is it really possible to ever go home again?

 Here is what I mean, just tonight I went with my family downtown, it felt like the whole town was there, gorgeous weather.

It felt like we were at the County Fair (which we always come home for) But when I run into people I used to hang out with or be really good friends with, or just know from high school. I freeze up, I say hi and smile, and I am genuinely happy to see them, but I don’t know what else to say and so I say bye and walk on. I feel like I have nothing in common with people I used to know, even if I know we have lots in common.

Maybe it is just me, but I find the older I get the harder it is to make small talk, I am only interested in talking, really delving into a subject I am passionate about. But go figure not everyone wants to talk about what I am interested in, and I don’t know enough to carry on a conversation about what they are interested in.

Or maybe it is because I am constantly keeping my eyes on my 3 year old running around and I can’t concentrate on anything anyone is saying to me, So I end up doing a lot of  Mmhhmms and so on. Maybe I need to take lessons, maybe I should just listen to my husband, that man could enter any room full of people at anytime and have them all loving  him, he IS the art of small talk.

So maybe I wanted “going home” to mean things stayed the same and I could just jump in where we left off, but that isn’t how it works, life goes on for everyone, including me. I am different, they are different, and hopefully we are all better for it.

So maybe next time, I will have something to say, or maybe I will just be chaseing my 3 year old. But I hope to be better and do better.

See you around.

3 Responses to Going home again, Is it possible?

  1. I know of what you speak. When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I used to go home to Iowa to the “farm” I grew up on. At first I was bombarded with people who “I just had to see and visit – old friends, family etc…”. But I found I had very little in common with them anymore and found it more and more difficulty to relate to what I felt like was “they stayed the same, in the same town, doing the same routine of all other families generations upon generations”. This is a wonderful tradition and should not be questioned, yet I was different….I traveled to different parts of the country and world, I had alcohol on occasion, I did not plan on having kids or a husband…I was the “weird” one. Thus I began to not see as many people as I went home and found it more and more difficulty to go “home”.
    Then I realized…it was not “home” anymore rather a place I grew up. A wonderful place, but home was where I was now…in whatever city I traveled and with each church I visited.
    P.S. you do wonderful with small talk with me. I LOVE talking with you and always will. You are a mother of young children now and have your priorities straight. Children 1st..then others. Enjoy these years because they will change quickly

  2. Suzanne I am just catching up with your blog. I couldn’t agree more. I am finding that now just from the few yrs of living in PA away from Baltimore. I’ve changed…even different from my own family members. DEF rings true. I will always love my home town but it’s def not “home” like it used to be.

    I also think you do great with small talk…I love talking with you & you always have GREAT ideas or you are empathic to people…what is going on with them.

  3. Thank you Tina, you know I love you sweetie

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